7AM TUESDAY, OVERCAST, SLIGHT CHANCE OF THE FUTURE

7AM TUESDAY, OVERCAST,
SLIGHT CHANCE OF THE FUTURE

by Diego Apaza and Laura Gottesdiener

This morning I was awoken
By a bit of sunlight that
Snuck in thru my window
Before my pants came on,
Because my pants DID come on

I'm sure of this,
Like the infantryman

in Afghanistan
Is sure she is not coming home
Anytime soon
and 4th of July fireworks
over Kabul, burn brighter
I've heard
(Practice makes perfect)

so I captured
this bit of light
And with my hands
cupped it

Into a warm ball of energy--
A newspaper read cover to cover
Even the obituaries,
(Dvante Roberts died, did u see?
U knew him as Little, Only 19)

Lives crumpled
And tossed like balled
Newsprint or this
Sphere of energy

I wasn't too sure
what to do with it,
So I began to whisper
those words
that came from
these thoughts,
U know what
I'm talking about,
You've slept

with circumstance

I'm not too sure

of these things
But I've heard
Some of these poems
Have traveled 1000 light years,
Maybe more,

I do know that they came
From the land of memory,
that place
where all of us will one day
go and continue our work

The sun has risen high by now
Downstairs the coffee is brewing
My package is ready to
Be entrusted to the Chinese
Lady at the 3rd ave post office
First class mail
No signature required
I double checked
the zip code

I'm not too worried
about the timing
Because I know that

if it reaches u by night

it will arrive
as a warm comfort
and Companion
to hold u thru the moon's cycle.

If it reaches u by morning,
it will wake u with a kiss and
a persuasive argument for
completing the duties of your days

If it reaches u while u sleep, I'm sure
It will come as inspiration.

Beware of this one tho,
for it will be important
to write it down
Or else you will lose it
and u must tell me immediately
so I can

Send a petition
to inspiration Land
(not too far from the realm of memory)

In order to retrieve it,

their bureaucracy is due
to their overwhelming demand.

But let's not worry unless
the time comes, let's not stress
what a mess this all is,
Or how
this all came to be, let's not
get buried under the heaviness
of
past
failures

We are
where we are
because we are,
We do
what we must
with what we have

1000 miles away where u are
(I still don't know why ur there)

U will find these words scrawled across the wall
smelling of secrets and burnt corn oil:

You are doing better than u know

Mayo, Algo, 2015
En Camino al Jardin de Lupe

Y las llaves?
Yo la pregunto
Quieres que entre por la ventana?
Yo la pregunto
Que chingaus, porque no contestan esta madre?
me responde
Y tu planta?
Me la dieron Grat---
Me lo lleve
Esta grande, parece muuuy cara
Ya vez, como dije me la lleve!

El marido nos abre, el que
se pone un cachucha de NYPD,
Mira que trajo el viento?
(porque algunas vezes el viento tiene la culpa)
ah bueno, lupe, invitale algo al muchacho,
no se preocupen, solo te como una naranja,
Y pues, me pongo a pelar, viendo gatos negros,
y pajaros pequenos.

Quieres que te compre una casa de pajaros?
Yo la pregunto
nah, estos cochinos me tienen ediendo todo el jardin,
(quien sabia que los pajaros eran asi?)
Entonces que es lo que necesitas?
Un abogado, pero bueno y que sepa español, conoces?
El unico que conocia se fu pa' africa?
Que hace en africa?
Quien sabe,
tratando de cambiar el sistema, sera?
debe ser, porque al fin, eso es el problema,
si, este pinche sistema,
quieres algo para tomar?
No gracias, estoy bien,
aqui nomas, pelando mi naranja,
en el jardin de lupe

Thank You Egypt

(written a while ago) 



Thank you Egypt for reminding me that the 4th of July is nothing to celebrate.

A country founded on genocide, mass theft of indigenous peoples' land and the profits of black and brown slave labor, the U.S. independence day is far from a celebration of democracy. It was the armed uprising, far more violent than in Egypt, of a regime now held in place by everyday violence, surveillance, incarceration, poverty and sexual oppression.

Look around, we are celebrating the wrong things. Our version of democracy has failed. We have to ask ourselves: is democracy simply a checklist -- a ballot box, a supreme court -- or is it an act that you have to participate in everyday?

Egypt is pushing the boundaries of the collective consciousness. We are not in a bubble; we are part of an international community that is seeking a world for all of us -- and not for the few.

Marcos said: our end is not simply revolution; but rather, a reality where revolutions are possible. That reality exists in Egypt, Turkey and Brazil right now -- and that reality existed two years ago in the United States.

Can you feel it? The movement within us?
The scream of the silent majority powered by the imagination of this generation -- we can have it if we want it.

If not now, when? If not here, where? If not you, who?

It's time for a real independence day.

Dissent Jungle

A little bit ago, I wrote a response to an invitation to a week of actions happening in NYC.

I wrote it thru the conversation between a Purple Elephant and a Pink Rhyno.

<Purple Elephant in the room speaking to Pink Rhyno>
Pink is drinking green lake water and purple is carving something out of wood.
They are in the groovy place called Dissent Jungle>

Purple Elephant: Yo homie, Have you noticed that every time there is predictable moment, the big orgs decide to mobilize predictable responses?

Pink Rhyno: Nah, actually, what do you mean Frank? Don't you love week of actions?

Purple Elephant (Apparently Frank): Think about it bro, money and power sometimes collaborate you know? If you were in power and you heard whispers from the shadows that people were thinking of attacking you soon, what would you do?

Pink Rhyno: I would probably get my guns ready, shiiit, aint nobody gonna take my power!

Purple Elephant:  Exactly, and they already got their guns man! believe me! (raises the thing he is carving in the air)... but do you know whats even more effective than that?  

Pink Rhyno: (silence... of the lambs...)

Purple Elephant: Subduing the real anger of the people and harnessing them into safe and predictable boxes (draws a square with his trunk...)  see what I mean? 

Pink Rhyno: ya i guess, so what you saying frank?  You saying week of actions don't do shit? (takes a slurp of now yellow lake water)

Purple Elephant: I'm saying that institutions do these things so the people feel like they are doing something-- meanwhile those in power feel perfectly safe and distant - fukkk that. 

Pink Rhino:  Damn, thats real. and crazy since animals are pretty pissed off these days too--

Purple Elephant: --Damn right--

Pink Ryno: 

My homeZebraGurl went to apply for a job at Barns and Hobos and they said they already had 5 Jungle creatures with Master Celsius Degrees applying for that same bullshit position, so that unless she had her PH.Free, not to bother applying.  Oh and don't forget, they fired our homie Giraffe for being too tall...

Purple Elephant:  There you go, I mean shit man, look around? Shits fucked, prices are rising and I aint getting paid more, are you? Rents going up, schools shutting down, hospital services are ending, our neighbors are getting deported and shit.  Meanwhile we keep on paying for RoboPig to go overseas and kill more Purple elephants and Pink Rhynos! .... like I said, fukkk that.

Pink Rhino: I hear you bro, I hear you... whatchu carving man?

Purple Elephant: Like i said man, I aint playing this little game nomore.  I've been working on this, check it out. (shows off a simple spear with a tooth attached)

Pink Rhino: (spits water and starts coughing) whoa... whatchu thinking?

Purple Elephant: I'm tired of that shit man,  I just think that we gotta do something and that ----wait, woah whats wrong?? your horn is bleeding, u ok???

Pink Ryhno: What?  (looks in the lake a little worried)   Damn, I can't even see my reflection anymore.  Fukkk man, fukkk this water!  It use to be made up of rainbow colors, remember???

Purple Elephant: All the colors that our eyes could see, even some that we couldn't -- i remember, i remember...

shit man, I think you picked up the PlasticVirus,  i'm sorry, i'm really, really sorry... 

Pink Ryhno: (looking scared, trying to wipe his horn on the ground....) oh shit, what should i do?? am I gonna die!?

                                       
                                        Purple Elephant: can i, can i be Frank for a                                          moment?   

                                              (puts trunk on Ryhno's back)

                                Stop drinking that poison ass                                                           water and pick up a spear! 

Pink Ryhno: (stops moving, calms down and whispers)  

"Stop drinking that poison ass water and pick up a spear."


--- give me that spear -- I'm calling the jungle animals.

Hidden in Plain Sight

Last nite,

During an event in harlem,

a womin - an elder, a warrior

spoke truth to power --

"What IS wrong with white people?
What IS wrong with Black people?
What IS wrong with Brown people?!

Whats wrong with the people in this country?
ARe we afraid, are we not committed, I don't think thats true?
ARe we not educated, Cuz we have the education in ouR communities!
So get educated!

I'm tired of this, i'm telling you, i'm on the edge!
I'm tired of meetings, I ain't going to to another goddamn meeting!
I'm tired of travelling all over the country telling people shit
that they already know!  You all know that shit is bad, I don't have to
tell you!

I'm serious, I swore to nonviolence but Oooooh, i'm on the edge,
I could switch sides anytime!

And the youth! I'm so pissed off at the youth, don't even get me started!
What are you waiting for!?  Because this oppression ain't gonna affect me!
I'm gonna be long gone! I'm good!

but I see some babies 'round here, it's them! it's them that are gonna have to pay the price of 
of our inaction. 

So i'm tired of talking, I'm tired for more organizations and more meetings, 
I'm telling you, i better see something, I better see something real soon!"

I hugged her afterwards, told her that I had to pay my respects,

and thru my eyes i told her that even if i don't commit to anything else, 

its the struggle for freedom that i'm here for and -- 

--last night i recommitted, 

Tonight

Tonight i write to myself,

i would speak to myself but 

i can't stand my voice for too 

long, i wish I could be proud 

of myself, 

I have a feeling that the world 

is waking up, I hope that i'm 

in sync -- i downloaded the 

the latest software, i didn't 

want to pay so i might have 

a virus.  I might be a virus. 

A virus is writing this right 

now.

Let this be a prayer to 

those that wish that I fail,

to those that never tried, 

to understand, to remember, 

to forgive, to forget, to regret and

and to ponder

I'm surrounded by my fears, 

and yours on top of them,  please

let them breath, 

tonight at least, so I can hear 

myself -- writing to myself, 

it can be like a remix of an 

old song that i use to listen 

to when i forgot how to love. 

hopefully i can remember soon. 

I can retrace my steps, follow 

the stench of my frown. from

one corner of my mouth to 

the other

surely it leads to that place

where I find an empty chair, 

to ponder, under the sounds 

of nature, under the pressure 

of greatness -- ya, thats the 

place for me.  I can't wait 

until I write to myself.  I can't

wait to be free.

or at least $free99,
on a shelf somewhere, waiting for
someone to take me home and feed
me chocolate that tastes like me,
so i can finally see how tasty i am

its going to be a good write 

about where i'm at, where I 

want to go, what i did, 

and maybe what i want to 

eat in the morning. 

cuz thats where the problems 

start,  i'm hungry for inspiration, 

seeking it like tired feet seek 

a seat on the subway.  Like 

a sheet of paper starves for 

ink, like a piece of meat 

yearns for the rest of his 

homies.  Will you cook 

me right?  I doubt it. 

I'll talk about it tho, believe me,

I'll do all this and more,
when I write to myself.

Perhaps the Candles Can See

I should be writing about my experience with Hurricane Sandy and the beautiful work I have had the honor to be a part of however, I seem to be processing things in a different order.  My heart has always ruled my kingdom.  I wrote this remembering that my partner and I began preparing for the hurricane a little too late and bought candles form the store because the flashlights were all sold out. 

Perhaps the candles can see?

I awoke to find you 

missing next to me. 

lingering in the dark,

our melted candles 

were replaced by wax 

of disenchantment. 

Whose idea was that in the first place?

Funny how they were 

bought for disaster 

adored during passion, then

forgotten during a recovery 

nobody saw coming 

including myself- 

especially myself-

I’m in the dark remember?

looking foolishly for everything. 

Except for my eyes.